Are We Forgetting the Other Side of Mental Health?

I was reflecting on a confidence training session I ran recently and something hit me.

I didn’t talk about mental resilience.

It’s one of those “note to self” moments I often have after delivering a session. I’ll ask myself, “What could I have done better? What did I miss?” And this one stood out—because while confidence is key, it’s resilience that sustains it.

So I want to share this here, partly as a reminder to myself, and partly because I think the conversation around mental health is still lopsided.

The Other Side of the Coin

Most of what we see about mental health is about releasing pressure:

🧘‍♀️ Mindfulness

🛀 Taking breaks

🧺 Setting boundaries

And all of that is important. But it’s only one half of the equation.

What about building the capacity to handle more?

What about strengthening our mental muscles to face tough situations and bounce back stronger?

Mental Health vs Mental Resilience

Let’s make a distinction:

🧠 Mental health is our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act.

💪 Mental resilience is our ability to cope with pressure, recover from setbacks, and even grow through adversity.

One maintains balance. The other builds strength.

And staying with the gym analogy - telling someone to only rest and never lift anything heavy is not how strength is built.

Hard Things, Easy Life. Easy Things, Hard Life.

I love this phrase because it captures something we intuitively know:

When we avoid discomfort, we often invite greater discomfort later on.

When we choose hard things, we build the tools to handle whatever life throws at us.

So, how do we start building mental resilience?

1. Embrace Discomfort (On Purpose)

Do hard things regularly. Not for punishment. For strength.

For me, that’s a daily cold plunge. It’s still unpleasant. But I do it to train my brain to say, “I can do hard things.”

Yours might be public speaking, initiating tough conversations, or trying something new in your business.

2. Strengthen Your Circle

Surround yourself with people who challenge you to grow—not just those who say, “Take it easy.”

Support doesn't always look like softness. Sometimes it’s a friend who says, “You’ve got this—keep going.”

3. Watch Your Self-Talk

The language you use with yourself matters.

“I can’t do this” vs. “I’m figuring this out” creates a completely different internal state.

You become the story you repeat, so make it one that strengthens you.

4. Adopt a Growth Mindset

You either win or you learn. If you view failure as evidence that you’re not good enough, it’ll break you. If you see it as feedback, it builds you.

5. Set Yourself Challenges

Once a year, I take on a physical challenge - something that stretches me.

Sometimes it’s a 10K, a triathlon, or a longer run. But I also look for mental challenges: things that push me out of my comfort zone intellectually or emotionally.

Stretching yourself in one area builds confidence across the board.

Final Thought: Don’t Just Protect the Mind, Train It

We’re not here just to cope with life. We’re here to grow through it.

So yes, prioritise self-care. Rest when you need to.

But don’t forget to train your mental muscles too.

Because the stronger they are, the less fragile your world becomes.

🧠 Balance care with challenge. Build the mind, not just soothe it.

💬 What’s your version of a “cold plunge”? I’d love to know what you do to build your own resilience.

Wishing you strength and growth,

✌️